


Why weren't you there?

by Wolf4986



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Depression, How Do I Tag, M/M, One Shot, Sad, Suicide Attempt, depends on feedback, human!bill cipher, like ususal, mable is sweet, no one dies, this may become a complete fic, triggering!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-03 04:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8696173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolf4986/pseuds/Wolf4986
Summary: Dipper is depressed and things can go horribly wrong when your left alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys. Thanks for reading this. It's my first fanfiction. Please leave kudos and drop a commemt telling me what you thought.  
> SERIOUS WARNING!!!  
> There is a suicide ATTEMPT. Please be careful. Depression and suicide are not to be toyed with. Please get help if you have these thoughts. There is lots of help out there, you just gotta ask.
> 
> Okay. Now we can all just move on with our lives and read some fanfiction.

"Why did he have to go? I mean it's pretty obvious that something is wrong. Right?" thought Dipper. He sat alone inside the Mystery Shack on the roof. Around him the forest was awakening as the sun set.The beauty might have been noticed had Bill or Mabel been there or had Dipper not been depressed.  
Three days ago, Bill had been summoned by another human and had decided that making the deal had been in his best intrest to keep his magic up. He claimed that Dipper needed to be protected at all costs. But what he needed to be protected from, Bill would never say. So, he had changed from his human form and into his old triangular one and went with his usual goodbye.  
Mabel was currently in England helping put together makeup and costumes for some play that Dipper could not remember the name of. She wouldn't be back in the Falls for another week leaving Dipper all by himself in the shack that seemed to big with out at least one of them filling the emptiness.  
The Stans had passed away a couple of years ago leaving in their will the shack and the land surrounding it. Dipper and Mabel had graduated college a few years back and moved back to Gravity Falls. Mabel was a fashion designer and a makeup artist and Dipper was an author. Not long after they had come back, a strange blonde had approached them claiming to be Bill Cipher. At first, the twins had attempted to exorcise the demon, but he ended up convincing Dipper and Mabel -- mostly Mabel -- to give him a chance. Eventually, Dipper and Bill ended up dating and had been together for a year and a half.  
When Dipper pulled himself up from the roof, the sun had finally set and the moon was peaking up over the trees. Despite the beautiful sight, dark thoughts filled the young adult's head. They were full of self hate and self doubts. These were the kind if thoughts that never lead a person to do anything good. These were the kind of thoughts that usually left a person dead. Either because the jumped or swallowed pills or hung themselves or something else that would end the thoughts swirling around in their head. Buzzing like a hive of bees. Unrelenting.  
Without much thought to what the consequences of killing himself may be, Dipper started to the kitchen where he knew a drawer full of knives lay waiting for him. The voices in his head telling him that Bill left him and that the deal was made up. It was just a way for him to get away without too many suspicions rising. That Mabel had left him without a second thought because she was tired of him. Tired of his constant ranting about magic and the creatures that resided in the forest.  
These were the thoughts that filled his head as the drawer squeaked open. The objects inside were shiny nad clean. Not yet stained the color red. They sat there innocently, but Dipper felt as though they were mocking him with their cleanliness. He closed his eyes and picked up a random pointed object. It sunk into his flesh with ease and began to spill the red substance. Tears began to carve their one trails down his face. Feelings of betrayal and loneliness fill his chest. Although they were untrue, in his unrational state of mind, they made perfect sense. As more red left the the place his wrist, the colder his body felt and the easier it felt like he could slip away. Like he could close his eyes and all would disappear.  
Dipper was absorbed in the hive that had become his mind. Waiting for the buzzing bees to stop. To sleep or die. It didn't matter to him. It wasn't until a hand jerked the pointed object out of his and wrapped around his bleeding wrist did Dipper realize another person was in the shack with him. After a moment of panic, Dipper realized it was Bill.  
Bill let magic slip out of him and into the wound Dipper's wrist closing the wound. He had arrived just in time for the blood loss not to hurt Dipper. Arrived just before he was too late and he lost Dipper. Arrived just in time to save his lover.  
At this moment Dipper began to sob, head falling against Bill's chest. Bill then wrapped his arms around Dipper and whispered I'm sorry over and over again like a mantra. Bill felt guilty. He had known that Dipper was going through a bout of depression, but had decided to make that stupid deal anyway. In doing so, he had almost lost the love of his immortal life and it would have been his own fault. He left him alone despite knowing what could happen. Despite the clear possiblity of this happening.  
"Dipper. I'm sorry I left when you clearly needed me. I royally fucked up and I nearly lost you because of my own damn silliness. I love so much and seeing you in pain makes me realize how hard I just screwed up. I promise to be there for you when you need me, and if I ever do something that makes you upset or hurts you please tell me and I'll make it up to you. No matter how big or small it is, or how stubborn I may be, I would do anything for you my Pine Tree." Bill said with his hand under Dipper's chin making him look him in the face.  
"I know Bill. And I love you too. I... I just. I just started feeling sorry for myself and then things kinda spiraled out of control and I stopped thinking. I would have actually killed myself and left you and Mabel to pick up the pieces and that was really wrong of me. And it should be me who is saying sorry not you. I shouldn't have just assumed that you can be there for every beck and call. That's not fair to you. So I'm sorry Bill. I messed up and I understand if you want to go," Dipper finished lamely hiccuping now that his crying had slowed.  
"Now why would I want to do that?"  
"Because who could love a broken thing?"  
"Well first off, don't doubt that I love you. Because I do. So much that it hurts and it sometimes scares me as to how much you can love another being. And secondly, you are not broken you are whole and beautiful and perfect just the way you are. And I don't want you to change because I like you just the way you are. And I also know for a fact that so does Shooting Star. And if you doubt my word, you can call her and ask her yourself. But please. Don't you dare try and tell me you're broken. You are not in an asylum being cared for by trained professionals as far as I'm concerned. Unless I'm actually crazy and you're just a beautiful figment of my imagination,"  
Dipper smiled at that last part and didn't feel so alone anymore. He felt loved and cared for and knew that if he ever needed anything he could count on Bill or Mabel to get him through anything.  
"Bill, I love and don't you ever forget it and don't you ever let me forget that you love me," Dipper said pulling Bill into a fierce hug.  
"I won't Pine Tree," Bill replied, kissing the top of Dipper's head.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading that. It was my first fanfic so I know it kinda sucked. But hey, things will only get better as we progress right? Please leave kudos and a comment on what can be improved and tell me if this should become a complete fic insteaf of just a one shot.


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